‘Just snap out of it’ – the experience of loneliness in women with perinatal depression
Pregnancy and welcoming a new baby is a time of big changes—and while it can be a wonderful time, it can also feel overwhelming and challenging. Many women find themselves feeling lonely or isolated during this period, and it’s not uncommon to experience low mood or even postnatal depression.
However, a research study, published in 2023, underscores that loneliness is not just a side effect of perinatal depression—it’s central to it.
Findings from this study showed that women with perinatal depression felt that validation and understanding from trusted healthcare professionals, peer support from other parents with perinatal depression, and both practical and emotional support from family were all important factors that could make the experience of perinatal depression and loneliness better.
Peer support, when well-structured (experienced supporters, shared experiences, safe spaces, practical advice), can significantly alleviate loneliness. It provides that critical sense of connection, understanding, and authenticity—elements often missing in traditional care models.
Key Findings: Loneliness & Perinatal Depression
- Loneliness is central and intertwined with stigma
- Among 27 qualitative studies and 537 women, women described loneliness as “deep,” “unbearable,” and often linked to hiding symptoms from others due to fear of being judged as a “bad mother”
- This self-isolation and fear of disclosure created a vicious cycle—loneliness reinforcing depression, and vice versa
- Emotional disconnection intensifies loneliness
- A sense of disconnection with their family, babies and with their pre-pregnancy selves created a complicated dual sense of emotional and social loneliness.
- Interactions with other mothers were seen as “inauthentic” when they couldn’t truly relate; this intensified feelings of being alone and misunderstood
- Structural mismatches in expected vs actual support
- Women frequently experienced a gap between anticipated help (from partners, family, community) and what they actually received—leading to heightened loneliness
- Disadvantaged groups (young, ethnic minorities, migrants) faced compounded loneliness due to intersecting stigma and social exclusion
How Peer Support Helps Alleviate Loneliness
Validation and shared experience
- Hearing from other mothers who’ve had perinatal depression helped women feel understood and less isolated
- The importance isn’t just presence, but “similar stories”: connecting with peers who can genuinely relate makes a critical difference
Mutual emotional support
- Peer groups offer a safe space to share emotions, fears, and experiences without judgment, countering stigma and self-silencing
Supporting vulnerable groups
- Tailored peer support is particularly impactful for disadvantaged or marginalized mothers—providing culturally-informed empathy, reducing stigma and isolation in groups where mainstream support may be lacking
Conclusions and suggestions from this research:
- Integrating peer support into perinatal care pathways can address core drivers of loneliness
- Matching by lived experience is key: peer support should use facilitators who have shared similar challenges (e.g., perinatal depression, cultural background).
- Culturally-appropriate and inclusive designs are crucial to reach marginalized women who often experience a "double burden" of stigma.
- Healthcare professionals should proactively screen for loneliness and direct women toward both peer-led and professional support—especially given the value placed on validation from those who “get it”
- Tailored group support interventions are needed for parents to relate to other parents. Not being able to relate can lead to feeling inauthentic and more alone.